i'm in the mood to write...

It finally registered yesterday that God willing i am getting married in less than three weeks. i think i had shut the thought out of my mind until yesterday when everything just seemed to bear down on me. i mean, i knew it was coming soon, but not that soon...

Relationships and marriage are interesting things. It's such a blessing to be able to share life with someone, to encourage and sharpen each other, to spur each other on to know and savor Christ more and more, to enjoy each other's company...

But there are also the difficult times. i have never walked with another human being so closely, to see another person's flaws so clearly and to have them see mine so clearly. i think i always knew on an intellectual level that love was much more than just fuzzy feelings, but know i know experientially how difficult selfless and unconditional love is without Christ. i feel like i'm going in circles sometimes. i'm angry and disappointed and frustrated with his flaws, and yet in these instances i am made painfully aware of my own imperfections and selfishness.

In the end it all draws me back to a brokenness and humility that i crave but don't enjoy experiencing. i am continually reminded through this process that the only thing i can cling to is Christ, and it is only because of Him that i can live and love how i ought.

i am emotionally spent right now, and God's sustaining grace is the only thing pushing me onward and forward. It's a hard but good place to be...

sorry for the lack in posting...

Hm i haven't really updated this thing in forever and SOOOOOOOO much has happened. i'm getting married in less than a month (shocking, i know) and my new niece is coming! Here she is...

www.karisjoychau.blogspot.com
www.chaukids.blogspot.com (for some recent pictures of the other kiddies)

Hm here's a short un-expounded on list of what i've been up to the past few months
-early June: started new executive assistant position at CHF
-mid June: went on a thoroughly enjoyable trip to Texas with Michael and met his whole fam, immediate and extended.
-end of June: got engaged
-end of June through now: wedding planning, marriage planning, new life course evaluating, conflict and growth in my relationship with Michael, excited, terrified, unsure, sure, more thankful than ever that the Lord is my rock and the one sure thing i can cling to in the midst of life's insanity.

i'll try and blog about all the massive change sometime soon...hm, maybe after the wedding when my life will be less insane.

i really AM Korean!

i get home, my mind still spinning a bit from the events of a busy day. i need something, something food-y. Yes, i need comfort food in this moment. So many options...chips, fruit, candy...wait! There it is! A jar of kimchi sitting 3/4 full in the fridge! i grab it and and a fork and hastily devour it like a bear eating crackers. The spicy salty sourness calms me. Then it hits me...of all the food options in my house i grabbed the kimchi??? (by the way kimchi is something we rarely have around the house) What's more, it really did have a soothing effect on me.

i guess despite being adopted and growing up in a white bread town, there are just some things that run in the blood...


Lots of different things going on. i promise i'll try to write a real update sometime soon.

Not as bad as Jericho, but still blazin'

Was anyone outside for a prolonged period of time today?

No? Well, i was.
Yes? Good for you, read on...

And whilst outside, were you ready to sacrifice just about anything if it meant you could run through some sprinklers and stand in a freezer for a bit to escape baking like a french-fried potato?

No? Well, i was.
Yes? Too bad for us. No sprinklers or freezer showed up and i had to just bear it. You probably did too...

Why couldn't they get anyone this cool while i was there?

So for about the first time ever, i wished i still a student at UCI. Why, you ask?? Because BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY is going to be speaking there!!!

Seriously...i'm so sad to be missing out on this.

Just when you think you have things figured out...

God puts something in your life to make you again realize you don't have a clue what the next day will bring. At least that's how it's worked for me throughout my life.

i thought i had formulated a pretty good plan and picture of what the next step for me was, and who knows, maybe it still is. But a pretty major change has recently come into my life that's muddled things a bit, in a good way though. About a week ago after a couple weeks of hanging out, a friend and i decided to go ahead and move from just friends to something more. So yes, it's true, Cheryl has a boyfriend. i won't go into all the details, but basically his name is Michael, and i guess i'll just describe him by saying he's a very easy going, down to earth, hard working southern guy who lives simply and loves and knows God well. We've been acquainted with each other for years but never got to really know each other until now. Any of you that know me even a little know how unexpected this is and how i wasn't planning on getting into a relationship any time soon. But sometimes God puts things in your life that you weren't planning on, and all you can do is abide in and trust Him. While the past few weeks have been very personally challenging as i've been navigating through this very new territory, it's also been really good and Mike and i have really been enjoying getting to know each other. Of course i don't know where all this will end up, but when do i ever know how things will turn out?

In other news, it's the Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday mashup weekend! Something cool Josh Walker mentioned at church yesterday that i've never thought about was this. For people in that time, the cross and the horrific death it brought was a symbol of Rome's ultimate authority and power. It was a major deterrent to anyone who would defy the empire. Yet Jesus, by willingly giving up his life so that the world might be reconciled back to God, turned that picture inside out and in a sense said, This cross was a symbol of man's power to terrorize and put to death, but now it will forever be a symbol of God's unfathomable humility and grace. Pretty cool.

Okay this post is getting long. So lastly, i just have to say that Michael Clayton is the best movie i've seen since Bourne Ultimatum, and the best movie i've seen in general. It was very well-written, well-acted, it moved at a good pace, and was a great thinking movie. GO WATCH IT.

So this is what my brother does all day...

i can't believe this qualifies as a job...i'm bitter because i'm jealous.