It finally registered yesterday that God willing i am getting married in less than three weeks. i think i had shut the thought out of my mind until yesterday when everything just seemed to bear down on me. i mean, i knew it was coming soon, but not that soon...
Relationships and marriage are interesting things. It's such a blessing to be able to share life with someone, to encourage and sharpen each other, to spur each other on to know and savor Christ more and more, to enjoy each other's company...
But there are also the difficult times. i have never walked with another human being so closely, to see another person's flaws so clearly and to have them see mine so clearly. i think i always knew on an intellectual level that love was much more than just fuzzy feelings, but know i know experientially how difficult selfless and unconditional love is without Christ. i feel like i'm going in circles sometimes. i'm angry and disappointed and frustrated with his flaws, and yet in these instances i am made painfully aware of my own imperfections and selfishness.
In the end it all draws me back to a brokenness and humility that i crave but don't enjoy experiencing. i am continually reminded through this process that the only thing i can cling to is Christ, and it is only because of Him that i can live and love how i ought.
i am emotionally spent right now, and God's sustaining grace is the only thing pushing me onward and forward. It's a hard but good place to be...
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